Windblown

Windblown.  This is my life.  Windblown.

I am caught up in the movement of the Holy Spirit.

I am grateful.  I am in love.

In this comes transition.  The last 9 years of my life have been transition.  Being windblown.

Transition is hard for me.  Is it hard for everybody?

I want and deeply desire to be windblown.  To blow with Holy Spirit.  To bend like a tree and fly like the leaves.  To plant seeds wherever the wind blows me.

This means in this season I am learning.  I am at school with 1200 people.  I am having to constantly meet new people. I have a revival group of 67 people.  Just when I finally meet some of them, I am blown into a small group inside of that revival group.  I have to meet these new people, too.  I am having to learn to do life with people whom I do not know well yet.  This is one of the most times I have ever been outside of my comfort zone.

It is comfortable to me to stand and lead and preach and teach.  I can talk with people and love on them.  Doing life with people is wayyyyyy outside of my comfort zone.  This has been a lesson in confidence, trust, honor, and love.

But this is also being windblown, right?  Right now this is where I have been blown.  It is a still spot with a small breeze.  A place of rest, a place of calm.  God’s Presence is here.  It is glorious!  But Oh!  How my soul is crying out because of being uncomfortable.  But this is how God can use me.  How He can teach me.  And there is Peace.

Sometimes, perhaps, we have to be willing to be blown into the uncomfortable places.  Maybe it is in these places that God is able to mold and shape and love us into who we truly are.  Who we truly are meant to be.

Then the wind of the Spirit will begin to blow again.  The tree will bend and sway.  And the leaves and seeds will be blown into a new realm.  A new place.

Windblown. ♥

It’s All About Him

I made it through my first week of BSSM!  It has been the most amazing week!  Getting to sit under and listen to Bill J. and Kris V. every day has been awesome.  Not sure what I’ll do tomorrow with no school.  Oh I know, HOMEWORK!!! haha!  Actually tomorrow I will be taking my kids to Lassen for a school trip.  I’m learning to balance family and home and chores and school and their school and homework.  So far this week, it’s been a bit hard, not gonna lie.  But thankful for so much help.  And grace.  And more grace!  And a dog who eats crumbs off the floor so I don’t have to vacuum.  😉

Today I learned something huge for me.  It may not be huge to you, but then again you’re not me.  And I am sometimes slow to get these things.  😉 Please have grace for my heart as it learns about selfish ambition and vain conceit.  And then more grace, please.  And perhaps a bit more.  🙂

I thought I was going to school at BSSM for me.  I thought I would get community and healing and learn my Bible more.  I thought that’s what God wanted when He told me to check it out.  I WAS WRONG!  It has nothing to do with me.  Yes, maybe I will get those things, but they will be an added bonus.  I am going to school for Jesus.  Today I looked into His beautiful eyes and saw a line of children, holding bowls for food, bellies extended.  He wants to put me there to serve them.  I looked again and saw women who needed healing and empowerment.  He wants me to help them.  I saw children of all different races.  He is sending me to love them.  I am going to school so I can be Jesus to the world.  Whatever I see in His eyes He can send me to go do.  Whoever I see in His eyes He can use me to love them.  It’s actually all about Him.  Oh, my silly vain little heart.  He knows I’m so sorry for making it about me.  Today I am so thankful He allowed me to see His vision, His way, His heart for me.  I am a world changer.  Because it is all about Jesus.

Love you all!  You are world changers, too!!!  Just look into His beautiful eyes.  Gaze upon His beauty.  You will never be the same.  It’s all about Him. ♥

School Girl

The kids are all started back to school, and guess what?!  I’m starting school, too!  I am a 1st year student at Bethel’s School of Supernatural Ministry.  I am excited and scared and excited some more!

Yesterday was my first day.  It was unbelievable!  To start with, I didn’t have all of my money for tuition.  Another student, whom I had never met before, sent me a private message telling me he had money for me!!!  It was $10 over what I needed!!!!  Wow!  God amazes me over and over again!

I know this is short, but I’m in such a rush and just wanted to blog and catch y’all up.  I will have to sit down sometime and write out my story a bit more.  About how God got me here and all.  Trust me, it’s good!  You will want to read it!  haha!

For now I will say this:  Yesterday will be a day I will never forget.  I learned so much in that one day.  The one thing I will always remember though, I realized that I am just a girl from a small town in Northwest Arkansas.  And somehow God picked me.  Perhaps because I picked Him, He picked me.  All I know is that He picked me, and He has loved me through it all.  He has been with me every step of the way.  Orchestrating every step of my life.  The dots are connected for me.  He has won me!  To take a line from Paula Abdul, I am “Forever His Girl”.  (Yes!  I do believe God loves that song!!!) haha!

Off to day 2!

Oh!  And I learned that I should get to the Civic early and park on the end with my car backed into my space.  Geesh!!!! 😉