What If?

Thinking and feeling tonight.

What If?

I love those moments when I feel the presence of Jesus.  When I see Him near me.  When I feel Him next to me.

What if we lived our lives,

constantly

every moment

conscious of Him.

If we knew we were truly walking with Him, would we ever doubt He would heal us?

Would we ever doubt His love for us?

Would we play and swing and twirl and dance and sing and laugh loudly with Him?

Would we bravely tell others all about Him, because He’s actually standing next to us?

Would we stretch out our hands to the poor easily, knowing and seeing His hands outstretched towards them?

Would we love freely because we see Him loving next to us?

I want to see Jesus.

I want to feel His presence constantly.

I want to walk next to Him.

I want to live my life conscious of Him with me.  So I will look like Him.  Play like Him.  Sing and dance like Him.  Love like Him.

Oh!  The world is waiting for Jesus.  We have Him.  That we would all be such close intimate friends with Jesus that we would live totally immersed in Him.  Walking with Him constantly.  This is what Holy Spirit does for us.  He is our Helper.  Our friend.  We can not only walk with Jesus, but we get to have the Holy Spirit living with us and on us also.  And the most wonderful Father God ever!  I want to live with them!  Always knowing they are right with me.

Sitting next to me

Loving me.

What if?

What Does It Look Like

What does it look like to be a revivalist?

To be a ministry student?

To love God with abandon?

This I know:

We are all different.  We walk differently.  We talk differently.  We show and receive love differently.

We worship differently.  We pray differently.  We read differently.  We answer questions differently.

God made us unique.  “You are perfectly and wonderfully made”.

Sometimes it is hard to be “me” in the sea of people.  But if I’m not ME, I’m not being real.

Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control

These fruits flow freely when I am free to be Me.  When I allow God access to me, the real me, the unique me He made.

Remember, Be You.

God made you special.  He made you YOU to stand out from the crowd, not to blend in with it.

There is freedom in you being You, in me being ME.

I am trusting Papa.  And thanking Him for making me ME.  Whether I blend or not.

When you are you, and I am me, God can freely show us what it looks like.  It is different for each one of us.  To be a revivalist, a ministry student, an abandoned lover of God.  He wants each one of us, purely, uniquely, truly.

Love to you ♥

Vulnerability

Reading Matthew today and came across this in my Bible.  It is a little section called “Kingdom Dynamics”.  Soooo good!

Being vulnerable can be so hard.  And yet, it is such a trait of a leader.

From Kingdom Dynamics on Matthew 26: 47-54

“Being vulnerable as a leader means to stand totally open as a human being, hiding nothing and refusing to defend oneself.  Few things elicit more of a response from people than the sense that they are dealing with someone who feels their pain and understands their need, which they discover only if the leader is vulnerable enough to disclose as much.  When Jesus refused to defend Himself the night of His arrest, Peter’s protective action severed the ear of the high priest’s bodyguard.  Immediately, Jesus reached out to heal His enemy, making Himself vulnerable to a return sword thrust, since His reaching for the man’s easily could have been interpreted as another hostile move.  Vulnerability may expose one to misunderstanding, but it also will bring healing.”

(Judg.6:1-8:35/Judg. 8:22,23; 9:1-57) J.B,

I think that just says it all. 🙂

Happy Friday!

Sometimes life is just overwhelming.  There are so many pressures and demands and expectations.  There are daily living tasks that are just taxing sometimes.  Not to mention when we get a word that doesn’t even seem to be real.  Our hearts drop.  Then race.  Our minds seem blank for a brief moment.

There, right there, in that moment if one can just catch it.  Capture it in time.  How will you respond?

Just trust in His glorious Hope.  Trust in knowing that when Jesus was on the cross, and died and rose again, in that very moment He saw you.  He saw you and all of your life.  Every moment, including the one you’re in.  And He counted it ALL JOY!    For the Joy set before Him, He endured the cross.  YOU are HIS JOY!

May His Love overwhelm you today.  May you know that YOU were worth dying and the resurrection for.  Every moment in your life right now, every one that overwhelms you and taxes you and scares you, HE saw.  And died and rose again for it, for you. For the JOY of Beautiful YOU!  Nothing is too big for Him, nothing is too small.   Oh!  How He loves you so!  May you trust in Hope and know His Joy and Love.

Loving well

Just a short post. 🙂

Yesterday as I was worshiping the Lord, I all of a sudden thought to ask Him, “How would you like to be loved?”

Jesus knows how to love me and love me well.  He knows exactly all of my ways of receiving His great love.  But I had never asked Him about His “love languages”.  I think he has all 5.  🙂  And more.  🙂

It was the act of asking Him.  Of wanting to know Him more.  That in itself was love to Him.

I want to know how to love and love well.  That is what I ask of the Lord, “Show me and teach me how to love like You.”  I want to see Jesus in the people I meet.  And know how to love them.

Sometimes, you just have to ask, “How would you like me to love you today?”.

Love and Blessings to you!  May you feel His great love for you today.  And be awash with loving Him. ♥

Windblown

Windblown.  This is my life.  Windblown.

I am caught up in the movement of the Holy Spirit.

I am grateful.  I am in love.

In this comes transition.  The last 9 years of my life have been transition.  Being windblown.

Transition is hard for me.  Is it hard for everybody?

I want and deeply desire to be windblown.  To blow with Holy Spirit.  To bend like a tree and fly like the leaves.  To plant seeds wherever the wind blows me.

This means in this season I am learning.  I am at school with 1200 people.  I am having to constantly meet new people. I have a revival group of 67 people.  Just when I finally meet some of them, I am blown into a small group inside of that revival group.  I have to meet these new people, too.  I am having to learn to do life with people whom I do not know well yet.  This is one of the most times I have ever been outside of my comfort zone.

It is comfortable to me to stand and lead and preach and teach.  I can talk with people and love on them.  Doing life with people is wayyyyyy outside of my comfort zone.  This has been a lesson in confidence, trust, honor, and love.

But this is also being windblown, right?  Right now this is where I have been blown.  It is a still spot with a small breeze.  A place of rest, a place of calm.  God’s Presence is here.  It is glorious!  But Oh!  How my soul is crying out because of being uncomfortable.  But this is how God can use me.  How He can teach me.  And there is Peace.

Sometimes, perhaps, we have to be willing to be blown into the uncomfortable places.  Maybe it is in these places that God is able to mold and shape and love us into who we truly are.  Who we truly are meant to be.

Then the wind of the Spirit will begin to blow again.  The tree will bend and sway.  And the leaves and seeds will be blown into a new realm.  A new place.

Windblown. ♥

It’s All About Him

I made it through my first week of BSSM!  It has been the most amazing week!  Getting to sit under and listen to Bill J. and Kris V. every day has been awesome.  Not sure what I’ll do tomorrow with no school.  Oh I know, HOMEWORK!!! haha!  Actually tomorrow I will be taking my kids to Lassen for a school trip.  I’m learning to balance family and home and chores and school and their school and homework.  So far this week, it’s been a bit hard, not gonna lie.  But thankful for so much help.  And grace.  And more grace!  And a dog who eats crumbs off the floor so I don’t have to vacuum.  😉

Today I learned something huge for me.  It may not be huge to you, but then again you’re not me.  And I am sometimes slow to get these things.  😉 Please have grace for my heart as it learns about selfish ambition and vain conceit.  And then more grace, please.  And perhaps a bit more.  🙂

I thought I was going to school at BSSM for me.  I thought I would get community and healing and learn my Bible more.  I thought that’s what God wanted when He told me to check it out.  I WAS WRONG!  It has nothing to do with me.  Yes, maybe I will get those things, but they will be an added bonus.  I am going to school for Jesus.  Today I looked into His beautiful eyes and saw a line of children, holding bowls for food, bellies extended.  He wants to put me there to serve them.  I looked again and saw women who needed healing and empowerment.  He wants me to help them.  I saw children of all different races.  He is sending me to love them.  I am going to school so I can be Jesus to the world.  Whatever I see in His eyes He can send me to go do.  Whoever I see in His eyes He can use me to love them.  It’s actually all about Him.  Oh, my silly vain little heart.  He knows I’m so sorry for making it about me.  Today I am so thankful He allowed me to see His vision, His way, His heart for me.  I am a world changer.  Because it is all about Jesus.

Love you all!  You are world changers, too!!!  Just look into His beautiful eyes.  Gaze upon His beauty.  You will never be the same.  It’s all about Him. ♥

School Girl

The kids are all started back to school, and guess what?!  I’m starting school, too!  I am a 1st year student at Bethel’s School of Supernatural Ministry.  I am excited and scared and excited some more!

Yesterday was my first day.  It was unbelievable!  To start with, I didn’t have all of my money for tuition.  Another student, whom I had never met before, sent me a private message telling me he had money for me!!!  It was $10 over what I needed!!!!  Wow!  God amazes me over and over again!

I know this is short, but I’m in such a rush and just wanted to blog and catch y’all up.  I will have to sit down sometime and write out my story a bit more.  About how God got me here and all.  Trust me, it’s good!  You will want to read it!  haha!

For now I will say this:  Yesterday will be a day I will never forget.  I learned so much in that one day.  The one thing I will always remember though, I realized that I am just a girl from a small town in Northwest Arkansas.  And somehow God picked me.  Perhaps because I picked Him, He picked me.  All I know is that He picked me, and He has loved me through it all.  He has been with me every step of the way.  Orchestrating every step of my life.  The dots are connected for me.  He has won me!  To take a line from Paula Abdul, I am “Forever His Girl”.  (Yes!  I do believe God loves that song!!!) haha!

Off to day 2!

Oh!  And I learned that I should get to the Civic early and park on the end with my car backed into my space.  Geesh!!!! 😉